How did we ever end up in the relationship from hell?
Some ingredients are:
Disconnection to Self
Lack of Direction and Purpose
Poor Communication Skills
Pre-Conditioned Beliefs Such As:
"If I say that I love them, then I am supposed to love them unconditionally, that means no matter what"
"Once I marry, that is it! For life, for better or for worse"
" I have to be the person they want me to be or else they'll leave me"
" Love will change them, love conquers all and never gives up"
" If I am kind then people will treat me with kindness"
Mix these up with someone who:
Wants control of you and has ulterior motives
They mistaken your kindness for a weakness and they prey upon that because they lack it
They see that you are loving and use that to manipulate you into feeling guilty, responsible for their happiness
Isolate you because you are willing to do what makes them happy
We then have a seriously co-dependent relationship.
Where does this all start?
How was your relationship with your parents? Open communication? Accepting? Abusive? Controlling? Out of Sight out of Mind? Seen and not heard? Single parent? Addictions? Workaholics? Engaging?
What prominent male figures were in your life and how did they demonstrate how to be in a relationship? What was your relation to them and how did you interact
What prominent female figures were in your life and how did they demonstrate how to be in a relationship? What was your relation to them and how did you interact?
How did you spend your time in social settings? Alone? Mingling? Disengaged? Social? Anti-Social? Awkward? Comfortable?
Did you know?
That we are connected to our ancestors traumas through their genes, DNA? Its called: Ancestral Traumas! Epigenetic! Trauma that alters our genes functions.
Did you know? That you can break the intergenerational trauma timelines? The same as trauma can effect our generations, so can healing.
You wonder why you attract a certain kind of person in your life. Begin to notice your energetic transference messages your are emitting. Why? and What? with Whom?
For example: my biological mother, was homeless, living on the streets in Victoria, BC. Every homeless person I see, I see my mother. I use to want to rescue them, but once I started healing, I have found ways to still be available, but not feeling responsible for their lives.
We at core are a spiritual body housed by a physical body. We are also animals with basic instincts. We can function by either. By our primitive selves or by our higher selves. If we have unhealed intergenerational traumas then that timeline is in our subconscious ever lurking in the dark. It can come out as ego, or alter ego and we are unbalanced. Disconnected to our spiritual body.
How do we start the healing? Something has to be so important to you, to begin the journey down the path of shadows. You maybe "awakened"! Jolted into a new timeline by an event, a chance meeting with someone that changes you profoundly. You feel a deep emotion that cracks your shell that protects the layers of traumas that have insulated you for as long as you can remember. Its not as scary as it sounds, but you have to be willing to face your shadows. Shadows are only our hidden fears, shames, guilts. They are hidden in the recesses of our minds. That is where we start! Healing ourselves through our minds. Then we can begin to listen to our hearts, our intuitions and feel our emotions, truthfully.
Once we start that journey, there is no going backwards living in the past, only forwards in the now and the future. Are you willing to move forward?